- From : Aster Connolly
Well hello there and welcome to the first edition of Slaying Whilst Slaying, this week you’re going to be over the moon with the choice we’ve clawed our way into finding. So this week we stayed up and things got a little hairy as the moon shone, but seemingly we were undetected. For a species with such big ears when turned they were certainly Unawarewolves. If you haven’t already guessed by these (awful) amazing puns we’re talking to you about the Werewolf!
Werewolves are always seemingly dressed in their long, baggy and typically loose clothing to make themselves fit in but also to look like they aren’t to be messed with. You’ll often see the werewolf sporting some sort of hat on their head, depending on the time of year you can either see a nice cute little beanie or a snapback (sunhat) in a seemingly larger size than what is expected to fit them. You know werewolves can part-transform? They can have the best of both worlds, looking somewhat like a human-wolf hybrid which means they maintain their features of wolfishness (it’s now a word) for example their ears, hands and muzzle will often stay in the wolf form whilst they are able to speak like a human.
So let’s begin with the bottom half of you shall we, the shoes and the socks. More often than not the werewolves seemingly love to do a lot of running in both their human and wolf form. So they will often be seen in some high-class running shoes which will enable them to run for a long distance without the sole of their shoe flying off or removing their shoes because they tried to go for a two mile run in heels. So some larger well-known running shoes will probably be out of your price range because let’s face it, who has $70 every time they lose a shoe because they forgot where they shifted? The socks may not seem as important because you can just chuck on a pair of the ankle socks you wore to your cousin’s wedding that one time and never wore again. Let’s think about this here guys, if you’re going to be running your feet will rub your trainers and eventually cause your socks to split and nice blisters appearing on your feet. Either a pair of sports socks and if they’re not your fashion then just dye them another colour until they work for you.
Next up we got the trousers (pants as you Americans call them) and so let’s get one thing straight if your body is going to be shifting from walking on two legs to walking on four legs: jeans are not your friend! They do not stretch very well and end up splitting if you stretch too far and can sometimes leave an embarrassing split in the material that you have to hide than the jacket that your friend leant you. Besides some of them have barely one functioning pocket how some people use such things on the daily surprises me. Wear something rather loose such as tracksuit bottoms, just to allow you the flexibility of being able to tie your shoelace on a park bench without fear that your red and blue spiderman underwear isn’t showing through.
So now you’re sorted down below, let’s get started on the fun stuff! The shirt, this can be a rather hard choice because sometimes the right colour of button-up shirt can truly compliment a pair of tracksuit bottoms, yet in other times they will clash and cause awful irritation to those who look at it. So if you’re wearing dark coloured bottoms then stick on a black button up shirt with matching black buttons. Yet if that doesn’t work or you just want to see what other advice I can offer up then you have only got a few points left and you’re on your own. You can always keep it casual with Plaid, any style of plaid and almost any colour will go with the jogging bottoms you’re going to wear, whether it be button-up or zipper, long-sleeve or short. There will be something that works for you. Even if that doesn’t work then go to the back of your cupboard there’s going to be an old band t-shirt that’s one size too big throw it on over your head, as when you’re in casual clothing not as many people bother with looking at you so critically.
Okay so if you’ve made it this far you must be someone desperate for fashion advice, so last up is the jacket. Or you could be super hipster and go without one. So you’re pretty content with the jacket, eh? Okay, so it may be a little cold outside, we’ll find you something. First and foremost, scrap those pullover jumpers that you get for Christmas from some Nan and then wear because they’re the last thing in your closet that you have not yet washed … don’t pretend you haven’t done it, we all have. They are not practical one bit. Besides, the only reason you were given the pullover was because you are that hard to buy for, probably. Sure you could rip it open like a Hollywood movie but two problems there … A) That wool is hard to rip and B) What will you wear when you forget to do your washing for the second time in a month and you actually need to go out and socialise?
Wear something that you can remove easily, perhaps with a zipper, poppers or if need be, some buttons on the front. This way, whatever shirt you are wearing underneath can be hidden, especially if its a Disney one from your childhood. We recommend something such as a hoodie as the hood provides protection from all kinds of weather and you can hide your face if need be too! A grey or darker colour would suffice and if you are feeling adventurous maybe find one with stripes. Well, that concludes this week’s edition of Slaying Whilst Slaying. I hope you are over the moon with your new outfit. Okay, I’ll stop with the puns. I shall see you all next week where we will talk about another creature and some more fashion style tips.
Catch you on the flip side!
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